Cheating liar

Hi again!

The single biggest failing of our relationship in which I share responsibility is the inability to discuss and resolve issues (however minor they might have been). This of course led to resentment and the whole horrible rest of it. So in the interest of being clear, there were no ‘online hoochies’. You know as well as I do from your monitoring and recording that I never had one single online chat or web experience with another woman. I did watch porn movies but that was it. I did this of course because of our inability to discuss your activities (online, txt, sms etc) which of course let to resentment on my part and the arrival at that point. Anyway, we should just be clear about it. This is the failing that I ask forgiveness for. My inability to properly recognize, address, discuss and resolve the issues that you were bringing forward. I understood a great deal at the time but I now understand even more and certainly did not respond or behave in an appropriate manner a great deal of the time. It is for this that I hope you forgive me.

Also forgive me for bothering you Lily but I was so deeply and truly in Love with you that it is hard to simply move on as we both wish.

I hope you will recognize things as they are and that we can at least be friends. Masturbating to porn movies is cheating. In this respect (and only in this respect) I was cheating and not working on our relationship. I never lied, stole nor omitted any truth to you Lily. I believe you know both of our behaviors in this regard.  I ask for no admissions nor reconciliations for past indiscretions. I knew the truths as they were happening. It was Elvis who sang ‘But I’d rather go on hearing your lies than go on living without you’. That’s how much I loved you. Now I only want you to be happy Lily.

I will try my best not to send you any more unanswered emails.

Have a nice weekend Lily.

Very Truly,

Jim

From: Lily Fosnight

Sent: Saturday, January 22, 2011 3:45 AM

To: James Morgan Smith

Subject: RE:

I do not hate you Jim and I hold no grudges. I am not ready to forgive you just yet though. I guess all things took a bigger chunk out of my heart than you could ever imagine. I am sure one day I will mend totally and move more easily towards my future, actually I have a spiritual  belief that it will be sooner than I can imagine. You was to be my life, my other half that made me whole, My Husband. So I apologize for it taking me longer to forgive, but I will when it is time...whenever that shall be.

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From: jmorgansmith@msn.com
To: septemberlily@live.com
Subject: Re: RE:
Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2011 03:26:42 -0700

Its too bad that you feel that you have to be angry with me such that we cant communicate. Hate and grudges are terrible things to carry around. You have enough already without carrying a misguided hate towards me. I truly wish we could talk. I say that from a selfish point of view because my heart hurts so badly but also simply from a civil point of view. I have forgiven you Lily and you would feel better if you did the same. I hope to hear from you lily, certainly we will encounter each other in the future.

Jim

From: Lily Fosnight

Sent: Saturday, January 22, 2011 3:05 AM

To: James Morgan Smith

Subject: RE:

You know...I miss the times we had that were fun and the times when my heart would pound because I knew you were on your way to me, but those times seemed to fade quickly and was replaced with feelings of not doing anything well enough to please you, feelings of being cheated on and what was worse is it was with online hoochies. Yes I miss you and yes I am better now that my heart is mending again.